


Garbage Wars

by fem_castielnovak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arguing, Castiel in the Bunker, Implied Hate Sex, M/M, Rage-Fueled Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 15:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5422463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fem_castielnovak/pseuds/fem_castielnovak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An accident brings about a battle centered on (you guessed it) garbage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Garbage Wars

 

 

It started on accident, because of course it did.

Sam will forever hate himself for not catching Dean and preventing that fateful fall. He could have simply reached an arm out to steady a very drunk, very unstable Dean before he could step on an icy patch. But step in that icy patch Dean did. And that caused him to stumble dramatically, arms flailing, as he careened into an even more drunk Cas. Sam wonders if he’d even had any hope of stopping Cas from falling into that large, open-top trash can. One second he’d been avoiding the ice patch Dean had slipped on and the next he went head-first into a mostly empty public garbage bin.

For a moment, Dean had looked stunned, and then he’d burst into raucous laughter. It hadn’t stopped him from helping the angel out and up, but he’d been clutching his stomach while doing so. Cas had looked very grumpy, and more than that, he’d looked furious at Dean’s amusement. The rest of the way to the car he’d sent burning glares in Dean’s direction and on the drive home he’d crossed his arms and stared out the window, stern pout set dead on his features.  
He’d been drunk enough that Sam hoped the ex-angel would have forgotten it by the next morning.

He hadn’t.

And such was the case when they went out for their grocery shopping trip. They were leaving the store when Dean paused to tie his shoe. Sam kept heading towards the car with the grocery cart to start unloading everything so he didn’t see exactly what happened. But a yelp made him turn around in time to catch Dean’s legs kicking in mid-air as he scrambled to escape the trash receptacle he’d apparently fallen into. Castiel was strutting smugly towards Sam, halfway between the scene of the crime and the car. Sam left the groceries at the impala and rushed back to help his brother.

“What the hell, man?” Dean yelled in Cas’s direction, brushing debris off of himself.

“ _Dean_ ,” Sam hissed, “Quit it, you’re making a scene.”

“I stood up from tying my shoe and dude fucking pushed me into a trashcan for no reason!”

“Screaming about it in a parking lot isn’t going to help.”

Dean stormed off towards the car and Sam could only follow. When they got there, Cas was shutting the trunk.

“What was that about?” Dean asked a very calm looking Cas.

“Revenge.”

“Ex- _cuse_ me?”

“You heard me.”

“What on earth could I have done that called for _that_ to be your retaliation?”

“Equal measure.”

“Equal-?”

“You pushed me into a trash can last night on our way home from the bar.”

“Dude, I fell! It was an accident.”

Cas looked less-than impressed as he twirled around, coat flapping dramatically with the motion, and yanked the door open so that he could _duck-bend-slide_ fluidly into the back seat.  
Sam gave him an 8/10 on that exit.

Dean looked deeply offended so Sam got into the passenger side and hoped Dean would follow suit. He did but all that happened was that he gripped tightly to the steering wheel and they all sat in awkward silence.

“Apologize.” he demanded.

“No.”

“ _Apologize._ ”

“I feel that would be redundant. As far as I’m concerned we’re ‘even-steven,’” he looked to Sam, “I like that phrasing. It tones down the severity of the remark without necessarily being a euphemism.”

“We are nowhere _near_ being even! Mine was an accident! Apologize right now.”

“I will not.”

Dean fumed. “Fine, but you have no idea what you’ve just started.”

Needless to say, the trip home was awkward with Cas sulking, staring out the window and Dean’s driving being fueled by anger. But it was nothing compared to the week that followed. Sam was lulled by the passive-aggressive nature of the evening. He really needed a check for his naïveté.

 

The next day in the library, they were researching for their next case. Dean had accumulated quite the pile of trash: snacks, tissues, napkins, straws, containers …

Sam looked up, ready to stand so he could go to the bathroom when it happened. Dean lobbed a napkin at Cas. It was impressive, he’d kept his eyes trained on the text in front of him and managed to nail Cas right on the nose. Cas looked up, startled and indignant but Dean sat innocent as could be, flipping a page oh-so-casually. Cas glared at the napkin in front of him and Dean took the opportunity to wad up another and toss it at him. Cas missed the smirk that Dean rapidly schooled off of his face. Sam watched the ex-angel press his face closer to the book before him, and didn’t fail to note the strongly clenched jaw. When Dean was audacious enough to crumple up and peg him with an empty chip bag, Cas slammed the book shut and walked away.

Sam hoped that the ex-angel was being the bigger man but even he didn’t believe himself this time.

 

Overnight, Cas had decided to leave his compost box open and the entire kitchen smelled bad enough to make anyone want to puke.

So of course, during research again, Dean pulled another stunt. But instead of wadded up dirty napkins it was spitballs. And that was it for Sam.

“I can take you guys being assholes to each other but do _not_ ruin that library or its contents.”

Little did he know that this new regulation would expand the battlefield to the entirety of the bunker.

 

After breakfast the yesterday, Cas had stood up, dropped his napkin on the floor - leaving his dishes on the table - and walked to the trashcan which he promptly overturned. He proceeded to reenact this at the next two meals and every time, Sam would rapidly back out of the room hands held up defensively, saying, “Your kitchen, your battle, your problem.”  
He isn’t sure how he made himself go to sleep last night.

 

He wakes up to screaming.

“This is **_too_** far Cas!”

“You piled a mound of garbage in front of my door after you thought I’d gone to bed. I merely took it a step further.”

“No. _No!_ My room is a sacred place. I can’t believe you went in without permission and just –“

“You were in there, and you didn’t object.”

“I was asleep!!”

Sam rounds the corner and has a perfect view into Dean’s room. The two opponents stand, facing off, ankle deep in clutter and trash.

“Dean this is basic scrimmage tactics. You do something, I go a step further, you go a step further –“

“Not so far that you dump the entire fucking garbage can out on my bedroom floor! “This- this is _disgusting._ I don’t even know how the hell I’d top this.”

“Does that mean you concede?”

“No I do not fucking concede!”

“Alright then I’m off to strategize.”

“Castiel you’re going to help me clean this mess right the fuck now or so help me god-“

“I certainly will not,” the ex-angel sneers glancing down at the waste-covered floor.

“I can’t even believe you! First the kitchen, after I made breakfast and now this?!”  
Sam watches his brother totally shift gears.  
“I’m _Castiel_ ,” Dean says mockingly, “I walk all over everyone and blow everything out of proportion.”

This apparently strikes a nerve in Cas.

“Stop it!”

“I’m Castiel and I’m too good to clean up my own inappropriate mess.”

“Stop using my name like that!”

Dean steps forward and pokes him in the chest with every syllable:  
“CAS. TEE. ELL.”

Cas bares his teeth and grabbing Dean’s collar, shoves him up against the wall.

Sam doesn't know if it’s retaliation or desperation that causes Dean to drag Cas into the kiss but the moans that follow the initial stunned silence are enough to make him flee the vicinity.

And later, when he comes back to the bunker, he isn't sure if he's relieved or horrified to find them fucked out and barely covered by a blanket (or is it a towel?) in the hallway. Because it means they worked shit out and they didn't do have sex in Dean's garbage filled room.  
But _God_ that blanket was small.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want an explanation, this is it:  
> http://angrysouffle.tumblr.com/post/134871230788/spncoldesthits-have-you-ever-struggled-to-get
> 
> Exits are to your left, your right, and your rear, restrooms are to the front, Kudos and comments are found below, and as always, very appreciated. Thank you for flying Air fem-castielnovak.


End file.
